Apparently the folks in Germany can’t stop turning out weird animals. First it was Knut the Polar Teddy Bear, then Paul the psychic octopus, then Heidi the cross-eyed possum, and now a cross-eyed jaguarundi called Frank is making us all wonder what the hell is going on.

Frank is a teenaged wildcat living in the east of the country and his keepers are hoping he will go on to rival Heidi in popularity, perhaps even being invited to guess the candidates for the Presidential elections in 2012. Such a prediction of course, will be nothing to brag about as everyone already knows that all those in the running will be of two stripes – dishonest elephants and lying jackasses.

This proliferation of cross-eyed animals shouldn’t surprise anyone, as it is a well known fact that everyone in Germany is in fact cross-eyed, something the German public conceals with contact lenses. This genetic quirk explains why Germans rarely laugh at my jokes – it’s hard to laugh when you can’t tell what you are reading.

Yes, it’s been a good week for alcoholic animals on the internet. For those who missed the tipsy owl and the hammered bison here is an intoxicated bear making a fool of himself on the local news! And how does an innocent animal find himself in such a shameful condition? Greedily gobbling down too many fermented apples, that’s how.