My god, she looks like they stole her from Madame Tussauds! Poor old Madonna didn’t look this good when she was alive, she sure as hell doesn’t look this good now! Just how stupid do they think women who buy this stuff are? Don’t answer that. Apparently the thing she’s sitting in is some kind of couch, but this ad has been so overworked in photoshop that at first i thought she was trapped inside a fancy fragrance bottle of some kind!
After her Teddy Bear was kidnapped young Mindy decided to take matters into her own hands. Digging into her dad’s armory, she grabbed every gun in sight, used a GPS hidden in the little bear’s head to find his captors, detonated some Semtex to blow the hideout’s door off it’s hinges and by the time Cuddles the Bear was back in Mindy’s arms, over twenty bear-hating scuzzbags lay dead.
“I love my Teddy, and anyone who messes with Cuddles messes with me.” she told Mike Wallace in a recent 60 Minutes report.
A movie based on Mindy’s shocking case is due soon- read more about it at Empire so that they won’t sue me for using their pic.
Tired of making appearances to unbelievably ugly shepherd children in remote Portuguese pastures, the Holy Virgin has decided to start slumming it in a Californian backwater by the name of Calexico.
An image of the well known religious icon and carpenter’s wife has appeared on a local diner’s griddle while it was being cleaned. The sacred sign from heaven, which bears a suspicious resemblance to a grease stain, was validated the next day by the town priest, who declared it to be a true likeness of the Sacred Virgin. The fact that the priest, at least according to local rumor, is the illegitimate offspring of an escaped circus pinhead has discouraged none of the town’s faithful and the griddle has now been taken out of service and turned into a shrine.
Daily the pious and the devout file into the diner to gawk at this heaven-sent proof that when God was handing out the brains, quite a lot of folks were at home still asleep. The diner’s owner, whose wallet has recently shown signs of swelling, was seen kneeling in front of the greasy altar repeatedly mumbling the words “Praise the Lord for the miracle of idiocy!” in what can only be described as a religious ecstasy.
More religious ecstasy to be found here, where you can see a photo of this somewhat lame apparition, and also some Rey Mysterio wannabees looking truly awestruck.