Elderly Pop Icon Madonna has apparently been thrown from a horse who resented being saddled with yet another famous person too lazy to walk.
Madds however, is blaming the incident on the paparazzi, claiming they startled the horse by showing it the last set of pictures they took of its rider.
After being released from hospital she told fans “I’m okay, really. Unlike many women my age my bones aren’t brittle, so it wasn’t any worse than being thrown from Alex Rodriguez.”
Hot on the heels of her suspicious mishap with a horse comes the news that Madonna has dumped her incestuously named toy-boy Jesus, for a rich Jewish guy with the equally biblical name of Moses.
It seems Ms Ciccone was bemoaning her failure to abduct yet another African child, when lo and behold, who should she find amongst the rushes, but 44 year old Abraham Moses Schimmel, a man who has apparently learnt nothing about shiksas from the story of Sampson and Delilah.
The two have apparently been on several dates, and have both exercise and religion in common. Americans, Brits, Latinos, Blacks, Jews – Madge doesn’t discriminate, she’s willing to make anyone’s life hell.
More here.
Of the menaces to civilization currently manifesting themselves on the Internet none is more egregious than “Cats that Look Like Hitler.Com.”
This site features photos of cats- all in various states of undress, i should add- that look like one of history’s greatest butchers! These “Kitlers”, as the site’s proprietor facetiously likes to call them, may seem to be nothing more than cute aberrations of nature, but the truth, alas, is much darker. This seemingly innocuous site is in fact part of a Neo-Conservative conspiracy to make us all feel comfortable with fascism so that William Kristol and his cronies at P.N.A.C can tighten the noose. You mark my words- as these “Kitlers” gain public acceptance so will fascism and tyranny in all its forms. One should keep in mind what Hannah Arendt said about “the banality of evil,” and then consider this question- is there anything more banal than a cute little kitty curled up on a rug in front of the family hearth? What better Trojan Horse to introduce the evil of totalitarianism into the average American home than this furry little embodiment of the everyday?
Rest assured that complaints will be forthcoming to both the Anti-Defamation League and the American Civil Liberties Union. I realize the latter are busy with such important issues as securing more women-only hours at Harvard’s Gym, but I feel this fifth column activity is of the direst importance and must be acted upon lest the world be over-run by meowing little William Kristols.
More about these furry little fascists here