Category Archive: In The News

From The People Who Brought You Pearl Harbor

Who else but the Japanese would come up with a bra in which you can grow rice? This confounding innovation was created by the Japanese arm of Triumph, who have in the past given the world the  sushi bra, and apparently has something to do with farming being popular amongst the urban Japanese, who like …

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Cute little girl goes on shooting rampage

After her Teddy Bear was kidnapped young Mindy decided to take matters into her own hands. Digging into her dad’s armory, she grabbed every gun in sight, used a GPS hidden in the little bear’s head to find his captors, detonated some Semtex to blow the hideout’s door off it’s hinges and by the time …

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Mother of God Seen in Greasy Spoon

Tired of making appearances to unbelievably ugly shepherd children in remote Portuguese pastures, the Holy Virgin has decided to start slumming it in a Californian backwater by the name of Calexico. An image of the well known religious icon and carpenter’s wife has appeared on a local diner’s griddle while it was being cleaned. The sacred …

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